You'll Never Walk Alone

Age does not seem to have dimmed Sir Alex Ferguson's anger. On the contrary, he has matured into one of the grumpiest old men imaginable.

Just yesterday he received a two-match touchline ban for coating referee Mike Dean in phlegm and spittle after Manchester United beat Hull.

And his face could turn a deeper shade of purple when he finds out what Liverpool have got up their sleeve.

You may remember last year, when United went out of their way not to sell Gabriel Heinze to their North-West rivals, off-loading him to Real Madrid instead.

Rafa Benitez has tried to fill the gap at left-back with several players, most recently Andrea Dossena, and all have been rubbish.

Real Madrid are in a state of civil war, with their players looking to jump ship like sailors on an oil tanker in Somali waters.

Consequently, Benitez has switched to his original target and is out to liberate Heinze from his Bernabeu hell. Or something.

Whatever, Fergie's reaction should be worth watching if Liverpool manage to move the Argentinian back into his old house in Cheshire.

Giovanni Trapattoni rates Shay Given. He has made him Republic of Ireland captain and reckons he is as good as Gianluigi Buffon.

Good news for Newcastle, right? Well, no. Trap has once again been singing Given's praises to Italy's big guns.

Milan are known to be in the market for a keeper, and Given might be keeping David Beckham company in the new year if the Serie A giants stump up £8m.

Yossi Benayoun is wanted by Spartak Moscow, Manchester City and Ajax, and Liverpool could let him leave for £6m.

Bad news for City, though - he wants to learn a new language and Mancunian doesn't count. Italian, French and Russian do. Russian, in this case, meaning roubles.

Middlesbrough manager Gareth Southgate is a massive Bangles fan. How else to explain his pursuit of a third Egyptian - Al Alhy's Emad Meteb, who nearly signed for Everton in the summer?

Other Egyptians who could be on the move are Hosny Abd-Rabbo and Ahmed El-Muhammadi, both of whom could sample the unique delights of a trial at Blackburn Rovers.

Fulham and West Bromwich Albion are on the trail of Lech Poznan's Bosnian international midfielder Semir Stelic, who can be procured for £1.6m.